Making eye contact with a guy at the coffee shop instead of Scrolling

Every Ass Morning In June: a daily ongoing stream of cawnsciousness (Day 4)

Good morning readership! Oooo I like that. Readership. Reader ship. Imagine a ship of readers. To infinity and beyawnd.

I can’t stress enough how much fun it is to go outside each morning without my phone. Isn’t it a thing that deaf people see better? Or blind people taste more? The idea that when one of the senses is cut off, the others are heightened? If I’m talking out of my ass it wouldn’t be the first time. I swear I read that somewhere once. That’s what being outside without my phone feels like; I’ve cut off my nose and now my eyes can see clearer, my ears can hear louder. There’s nowhere to look but at the world around me, nothing to see except for everything.

Being outside is level 1. Going into an establishment is level 2. Making eyes with a man in said establishment? Level 3. I walked into Joe Coffee (which is lowkey one of my opps but we can discuss that another time) and ordered a cortado (randomly my new go-to as of last week) and made my way off to the side to wait for my drink. Usually at this point I’d be scrolling, chatting, waking my brain up with reels, like a bowl full of spaghetti to the face. Today, I was looking around me curiously like a baby on the subway, eyes wide in a stroller. My first time in this coffee shop without a phone. Googoo literal gaga.

And then a gay guy walked in. And I watched it happen. We locked eyes. He ordered an iced coffee, black. He turned and looked at me. I whispered a faint smile, even though he wasn’t my type (dark grey-ish hair and grumpy looking, probably mid 30’s). Again, this is where I’d go back to my phone, to my reels, to a video of a girl eating a dot cake. I stayed in the coffee shop with Grumpy and he kept looking at me. He got his iced coffee before I got my cortado and made his way over to where I was standing near the condiment station.

He gave me a look like aren’t you gonna say something? No, dude, get your Splenda and go. I wanted to say, “Hello. We aren’t getting married. I’m here without my phone and I made eye contact with you because I’m re-learning how to be on Earth after spending many, many years on Planet Reels. Enjoy your coffee.” I got my cortado and walked to the steps where I sat and continued baby-eyed gazing at people making their way to work across Union Square.

I’m not trying to be some Eve Angelical No-Phone-Policy preacher, it’s just that it could be potentially life-changing. When’s the last time you went outside without your phone? Not in your pocket, not in your purse. No phone. Probably, like, 2012, right? Each time I do it, I can feel my brain recalibrating itself in a way that feels grand, like the neuron pathways are being paved with limestone from Italy. As if I know what neuron pathways are or where limestone comes from. You get the picture. Get out there and thank me later. Let me know what you find. GET!

Celebrity sighting:

Last night, after dinner at Allswell in Williamsburg, my friend Abby and I walked to Gelateria Gentile for gelato as the sun set. While we waited in line, a really cute gaggle of 3 girls walked in, lead by a familiar girl in a Penny Lane-esque coat. I’d seen her before but couldn’t place it, maybe from my Tik Tok feed? Does she do hauls? I half-wondered while paying for my ice cream. We sat on the bench outside and when Penny Lane walked out a couple minutes later, Abby was like, “oh my god.” I was like, “wait who is it? A Tik Tokker?” As she and her friends sat down on the bench behind us, Abby leaned in and said, “The White Lotus,” barely audible. It was Haley Lu Richardson. Great aura. Totally normal.

Today’s lesson:

- Girl, just go outside.

I’ll see you tomorrow!